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FREEDOM-TO-POOP CARD
By Michael B. Brodkorb | February 16, 2007
This card is for H.F. 1015 (or S.F. 140) which requires private businesses to open up their bathrooms to certain folks who just gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now. Click here for more information on the Freedom to Poop Act.
Disclaimer: Ben Kruse created this graphic for use on Minnesota Democrats Exposed and wow, he did a great job.
Topics: Uncategorized |
February 16th, 2007 at 8:24 pm
Here is an interesting conundrum.
What happens if the line to get your card at the DMV is too long?
Are we just going to see a long line of people that keeps recycling?
Will people have to spend the rest of their lives waiting for one of these because they have to keep leaving the line to do their business?
This is not good.
February 16th, 2007 at 9:02 pm
I’ll make sure to carry mine with me next time I stroll past [insert democrat name here]’s office.
By the way did I mention I had a been burrito for dinner?
February 16th, 2007 at 9:45 pm
1: The designer of this card should win an Oscar for special effects.
2: Irritable bowel syndrome is characterized by symptoms of abdominal discomfort or pain, usually in the lower abdomen (although the location and intensity are variable, even at different times within the same person), and altered bowel habit (change in frequency or consistency) — chronic or recurrent diarrhea, constipation, or both in alternation.
3: People suffering from IBS should contact 1-888-964-2001.
February 17th, 2007 at 1:27 am
Again, this is great stuff. In your wildest dreams you could not make it up!
February 17th, 2007 at 2:18 am
This is NOT FAIR. You & King are having way too much fun with this stuff.
February 17th, 2007 at 9:00 am
The DFL needs to get its poop together and get some work done in St. Paul on serious issues.
The ineffectiveness of the House of Representatives under the leadership of Speaker Margaret Kelliher and Majority Leader Marty Sertich has reached such a level that they are going to convene nighttime sessions and committee meetings beginning on Monday. This is a testimony to sheer ineptitude!!!!!!!!!!
This is like having kids skip school to smoke dope all day and then show up for detention expecting to get passing grades.
Nothing against overtime but the DFL leadership junta has failed miserably in their use of time at the legislature.
These bozos talk bipartisanship when they don’t need a stitch of bipartisanship to get done whatever it is they want to get done. Just put it out there and vote on it. It’s your majority. You have the edge 85-43 not counting the moderate republicans who are fluffing for you like Erhart and Abeler. You have the numbers. Get er done.
LEAD ALREADY! GET TO WORK!
February 17th, 2007 at 9:28 am
There are several obvious problems. First off the bills have no provision for a card certifying
“the need”. Already the state can’t get it’s act straight on handicap zone ID requirements where the person issued the handcapped permit has to carry an ID card and pick up the vehicle themselves or provided a validated excuse.
Note that the bill says “and other conditions”. Is a topical condition from too much beer and greasy food fit the description? Getting the “sh*ts” happens occassionally to almost everyone.
The next point is security for a store. The proposal says a store with three or more people (on duty I’d assume). If the bathroom is the back room that diverts one employee. This makes it easier for others, perhaps in cohersion, perhaps see the opportunity, to try to shoplift. If the employee watching the restroom eventually lets their guard down and the person using the bathroom either steald from the backroom or props open an employee or delivery door.
February 17th, 2007 at 9:59 am
Will this card entitle me to call the police or fire department to rush me to the nearest toilet in the event I’m caught outside the range of a comfortable stroll to one?
February 17th, 2007 at 10:46 am
SUPPORT POOPER ID!
February 17th, 2007 at 7:10 pm
Let ‘em use the employee toilet when the customer has a medical condition or face a less than $100 fine. No changes to the toilet required, and the business is not responsible for problems that arise.
Far as I can tell, the only losers are the jerks who refuse to let you use the john.
I agree that there are MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO BE DONE. How about:
- Property tax relief - put it back on commercial business.
- LGA - give it back.
- Schools - fund them fairly.
- Jobs - support microloans, job programs, wage suppliments to get everyone working.
- Police - get them back to full force.
- Neighborhoods - support walkable urban design.
- Transportation - build out the light rail.
C’mon… a ticket for not letting someone use the john? How’d that even get on the agenda?
February 17th, 2007 at 9:27 pm
Brian,
How about some edits:
- Property tax relief - put it back on commercial business.**Why should commercial business pay all the property taxes? Let’s try having our cities (especially Minneapolis and St. Paul) living within their means.
- LGA - give it back.**Give it back? It’s a gift from the state — a gift, by the way, intended for smaller communities with a low property tax base that got hijacked by Minneapolis, St. Paul and Duluth. Let’s wean the three largest cities in the state off of LGA and let it go to “poorer” more deserving towns.
- Schools - fund them fairly.**I agree with you that schools should be funded fairly. It’s absolutely unfair that a classroom of 20 third graders in Minneapolis get $120,000 more than the same classroom of 20 third graders in rural Minnesota.
- Jobs - support microloans, job programs, wage suppliments to get everyone working.**How about supporting lower taxes, less regulations, and the free market. Even with the disadvantaged economic climate in Minnesota compared to other states in the country, we still have one of the lowest unemployment rates around. That said, we can still cut taxes on businesses and provide incentives to business incubators which help people get started with new business ideas.
- Police - get them back to full force.**If you want your community to get the police to full force, maybe you should encourage them to waste less money and fund the most important things first and the least important things last.
- Neighborhoods - support walkable urban design.**Why should the government tell people they have to walk? Why should we prohibit cities from growing and expanding? I’ve been to New York City and I do not want Minnesota to turn into a New York City.
- Transportation - build out the light rail.**How about building out the roads first? We live in one of the largest Metropolitan cities in the U.S. and it still has a 4 lane beltway. Our roads are not keeping up with the growth. We need to build more roads both in the metro where there is congestion and in rural Minnesota where there are too many deaths on two lane highways.
February 17th, 2007 at 10:15 pm
Democrat Andy Welti, “my” state representative, has proposed legislation that outlaws the possession of glass containers in response to a complaint from ONE constitutent about broken glass on beaches and waterways. The Rochester Post-Bulletin reports that “Violators would face a misdemeanor charge punishable by up to 90 days in jail, with each violation treated as a separate offense.”
Moreover, the Rochester City Council is mulling restrictions on the number of garage sales a homeowner can have during a year. The scary thing is that such restrictions are in effect elsewhere in Minnesota.
The nanny state is moving full speed ahead.
February 18th, 2007 at 1:04 am
I have a good friend of mine who was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. He was admitted to the hospital. He stayed there for three weeks. At one point, the bleeding in his colon was so bad that he needed three units of blood. Eventually, doctors decided that they couldn’t heal the colon, and they removed it.
He had an ileostomy for three months, then had surgery that reconnected his intestines to his rectum–which, thank God for modern medicine, worked. He can live a pretty normal life. The only problem he has is that, without a colon, he has to use the restroom often, and doesn’t always have a ton of warning.
Given the choice between that and bleeding to death, he’ll take what he gets, but this bill would benefit him greatly. I don’t find this particularly funny. But I’m not surprised Mikey does–after all, he got to say “poop,” and that’s a funny word when you have the emotional maturity of a six-year-old.
February 18th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
Jeff, you’re assuming that human decency will win out over the chance to ridicule the disabled and display bathroom humor.
But these are Republicans we’re looking at here — don’t be so naive.
February 18th, 2007 at 12:21 pm
Jeff,
I feel terrible for people with medical conditions which affect their ability to function as normally as everyone else. That said, I do not know of any business that tells customers they can’t use the restrooms.
What I don’t understand is why the DFL needs to legislate against everything that’s out there. Even though 99% of businesses are accomodating to their customers — who wants to embarass someone who is giving you money or might give you money in the future by refusing them use of your restroom? — I can see the unintended consequences of making a business open its restrooms for public use. As I said before, you people from the “moderate left” will be busing in protestors by the tens of thousands to St. Paul for the GOP convention in 2008. I don’t see why businesses should have to allow people off the street to use their restrooms, possibly at the inconvenience of paying customers.
February 18th, 2007 at 5:41 pm
Fecke, you don’t get to own compassion because you place a Government mandate or a fine on it.
I’d open my own home to your “good friend” if it meant making him comfortable with his current affliction. Any business which doesn’t, should be shammed.
The point, and the reason why the legislation (not the afflictions) is being lampooned, is because most of us don’t believe that the Government is the end all be all answer to every problem.
Don’t pretend that you care more about people like your “good friend” just because you are in love with Government.
You are lying to yourself.
February 18th, 2007 at 10:32 pm
Hey, I wasn’t the one mocking the idea that people might need to use the restroom urgently.
I’m sorry you all got called on massive insensitivity, and that you all are indignant now. Too bad. If you want to have a reasoned theoretical argument on the level of government regulation that is appropriate, starting with the “Freedom to Poop Card” isn’t the way to do it.
February 19th, 2007 at 8:34 am
For those people in Anoka that really need to poop. Poop here!
Abeler Chiropractic
600 E. Main St.
Anoka, MN 55303
Remember that Jim Abeler is one of the nuts pushing for this legislation. We should make a special trip to use his clinic to take a dump. Maybe that would send him a message.
February 19th, 2007 at 10:51 am
[...] In a series of posts and accompanying comments over at the Minnesota Democrats Exposed website, the legislation is discussed with the usual tenor of respect and civility that we’ve grown to expect from the close advisors to our Republican lawmakers. [...]
February 19th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
[...] I will remind the dedicated reader of Minnesota Democrats Exposed that I started joking about the "Freedom to Poop Act" after I learned about the legislation introduced by DFL State Representative Erin Murphy. [...]
February 19th, 2007 at 1:14 pm
Anyone else find it funny that the party of Al “Rush Limbaugh is a big fat idiot” Franken would have the audacity to lecture about civility and respect? Why are you people on the left so insensitive toward the obese? How dare you make fun of someone’s weight. As long as you keep yucking it up over Frankenfraud’s jokes about killing “pudding” people (aka homosexuals), the former Speaker of the House’s menstrual cycle, Holocaust victims and a million other gross and despicible things, you have no credibility to lecture anyone about civility and respect.
February 20th, 2007 at 9:28 am
[...] Everybody should know by now what legislation will get my vote. posted by Michael B. Brodkorb at 9:20 am [...]
April 23rd, 2007 at 6:00 pm
[...] No word yet how this will affect the ‘Freedom to Poop’ law here in Minnesota. If you have the right to have a ‘pesky’ poop in a non-public restroom …. can you use more than the alloted squares? [...]